And In The Long Dark

A Love Song for One Not Expected to Return

And in the long dark of waiting,
Jacob sighed and asked Rachel,
Who wasn't there,
Would you miss me, Rachel,
More if I were dead,
And you knew it, than you do
Now when I'm alive and you don't?

How Was I Supposed to Know?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF-eHoMF228

And on the day we said goodbye,
How was I to know that I
Would be left with a little ghost

to haunt me

I told you I wasn't sure I could live without you.
You got angry and demanded, "How can you say that?"
But now I'm afraid I may have turned out to be right.

Things I wish I'd done instead
Crowd me on the sidewalks of my mind

And the darkness comes to find me,
Second chances disappear.

--

Rachel's Gaze

Oh how I miss the way
You used to listen to me.
You listened with your eyes,
In patience glistening brighter,
The quieter you grew.

Has anyone told you, your eyes
Shine more brightly when someone
Reaches the intelligence in you?

So unpretentious the line
Of your thought, and yet
No one comprehends as
Effortlessly as you how
Incomprehensible is beauty.

You were the only one
Who ever measured with
Your attention, how shallow
Were my words compared
To the depth of their source.

You forgave my shallow words,
Though you were alert and noticed,
And you always kept listening
As if I were worth hearing.

No one else listens to me
The same way.

Love In the Balance

I have felt there was a balance
In the world, necessary, yes,
Between pleasant and unpleasant,
Pleasurable and unpleasurable,
Life and death, joy and pain,
Comfort and rest.

When lucky in love
We should be grateful
To the miserable
Who make our love possible;
When unlucky,
We should feel useful
And know the happiness of the happy
Is built on our essential
Loneliness.

So without you, I hope
To live in the gratitude
Of Happy Lovers!
__________

Penelope & Rachel

In all the great stories of love persevering
Over time, there are two varieties,
Male endeavour and female patience,
Penelope aloof among her suitors,
Stringing her tapestry to express her love,
And unstringing her art to protect it.

Who knows, Rachel, what your namesake felt
Those fourteen years of Jacob's work
She had to wait through
To finally feel his by now rough hands
On her waist - she who made him weep!
With desire the moment, the first moment
He first laid eyes on her eyes.

Blinded by tears, her eyes
Swimming out of focus into pure color,
He kissed her once and never kissed her
Again through fourteen years. Oh lucky Jacob,
I've never kissed you once even, and
(This haunts me) I could have hugged you
When my brother died but didn't.

You have not given me permission
To wait patiently for you.
You have not promised, have not said
Anything about coming back,
So alone I must persevere after you.