Preparation

I was all prepared to remember you,
To keep your images, your eyes,
Which again and again surprised me,
On the front pages of my book
Of memory, and think of you often,
And come to your concerts and perhaps
Even share coffee now and then.
I didn't pretend, these moments
Would mean as much to you as me,
Or that I could be your Richard Bonynge,
But I thought at least you'd enjoy
Having me at the edges of your life
Wishing you well, oh what the hell,
I won't go where I'm not wanted.
And I fear, no I see clear,
The moment is coming when I can't deny
That you don't care if I know
Whether you live or die.

Whatever may come, whatever may come,
You won't want it to be me - particularly.

And since I not only offered you everything,
I offered you anything you wanted from me,
I'll respect your indifference and try
To give you what you haven't asked:

I am preparing to forget you.